


The Way Of It

by allofuswithwings



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Minor het, Pseudo-Incest, Romance, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-23
Updated: 2012-10-23
Packaged: 2017-11-16 21:31:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/544047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allofuswithwings/pseuds/allofuswithwings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jane gets an unexpected visitor, and an even more unexpected request for advice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Way Of It

**Author's Note:**

> Just a warning that this fic contains a lot of feels. Actually, it ended up mostly feels, even though that wasn’t where I was originally going with it. It was meant to be something short and maybe funny. Then this happened. And Thor/Jane also invaded a bit, which I also did not intend. Sorry. My bad.
> 
> Title and excerpt from the poem The Way Of It by Ella Wheeler Wilcox. The full poem can be found here: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-way-of-it-2/
> 
> Cross-posted to my LJ.

~

 

_This is the way of it, sad earth over,_

_The heart that breaks is the heart of the lover,_

_And the other learns to forget._

_‘For what is the use of endless sorrow?_

 

~

 

It had been a long time since Jane had seen him.

 

Nearly two years now she guessed, since he’d fallen out of the sky and into her life.  And yet, it seemed longer.  So much had happened between then and now – her new research and career; the battle for Manhattan; the fame of the Avengers.

 

She’d seen him then of course, on TV, just like everyone else.  But he’d never come to see her.

 

Erik said he’d returned home to Asgard with Loki.  It was unsurprising he had the slightly more pressing matter of his murderous brother to deal with than worry about visiting her.

 

She supposed that was when she knew – she couldn’t spend her life waiting for a man who had a planet to rule and people to take care of.  She had her own life to live.

 

So she was more than a little surprised when he appeared at her lab out of the blue.

 

“You look well, Jane Foster.”

 

Jane jumped a mile when she heard that familiar, warm voice behind her, knocking a stack of books off the table in the process.  She whirled around to see Thor before her, now moving to pick the books off the floor.

 

“I am sorry.  I didn’t mean to startle you.”

 

His gaze held hers, and she felt the same flutter in her belly from all that time ago.

 

“No, no, it’s fine.  I just wasn’t expecting you,” she said quickly.  “It’s been so long; I wasn’t sure you’d be coming back to Earth.  It’s - It’s great to see you.”

 

They set the books upon the table, Jane still unable to tear her gaze away from him.  Thor’s smile was warm, and he took her hand between both of his.

 

“So, Rachael said there was an event this morning, only it apparently wasn’t scheduled, and – whoa!  Okay.  Yeah.”

 

Jane turned as she heard Darcy’s voice.  Thor did not drop her hand.

 

“Right, yeah.  That would be it,” Darcy continued, her eyes a little wide.

 

“Hello, Darcy.  It’s good to see you again.”  Then Thor’s gaze came back to Jane.  “I was only now greeting Jane, who I was about to say is also a pleasant sight for my eyes.”

 

He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it, his gaze never wavering.  Jane flushed.  She looked over to see Darcy giving them both a pointed look.

 

“Yeah, I don’t know that you want to be doing that around here, what with Jane’s boyfriend.  I don’t think he’d like it very much.”

 

“ _Darcy_ ,” Jane hissed, glaring.

 

Thor released her hand, surprise evident on his face.

 

“You are courting?”

 

She couldn’t think of a decent reply, not when he was looking at her like that.  His eyes betrayed his disappointment.

 

“Um, yes.”

 

“He’s a physicist, working for SHIELD as well,” Darcy remarked.  “Snapped her up when she realised you weren’t coming back.”

 

Jane shot her another look.

 

“Darcy!”

 

“What?”

 

“No, it’s alright, Jane.  Darcy only speaks the plain truth,” Thor said.  “And she is right – I left and did not say _when_ I would return.  I could not have expected you to wait.  It would not be fair.”

 

Jane watched Darcy shrug and then stroll to the other end of the lab, beginning to paw over data. 

 

“I did wait,” she said, turning back to Thor.  “But I couldn’t wait forever.”

 

“I would not ask you to.”

 

“I know.  So I… I found someone else.  Not deliberately, but these things happen.”

 

“You cannot help the pull of your heart, Jane.”

 

She gave him a small smile.

 

“I never could.”

 

Thor’s expression turned soft.

 

“Does he make you happy?” he asked.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then that is all that matters.”

 

Jane smiled wider.

 

*

 

They talked for some time about all that had happened since they were last together.  Thor filled in many of the blanks Jane had about the events on Asgard, as well as the battles on Earth that she only had second-hand knowledge of.

 

It didn’t take long for Jane to realise how deeply Thor had been affected by everything that had happened, including the breakdown of his family, and in particular, the actions of his brother, Loki.

 

Pain shone brightly in Thor’s eyes when he spoke of him, and distress written in the furrow of his brow.   Jane suspected the capture of Loki was not the victory for him that it had been for everyone else.  He wanted back the man he knew, and despite all the atrocities he’d committed, it was clear he still loved him fiercely.

 

Though there was something about it that Jane found a little unsettling.

 

“I confess my reasons for visiting you are partly selfish,” Thor said, his voice low.  “I wish to hear your thoughts on what I should do – both about myself and my brother.”  He sighed.  “There is too much politics and betrayal associated with him for me to speak to anyone on Asgard about it.  And I fear the hatred here on Earth is also too great.  Though I thought perhaps you would have the heart to understand.”

 

Jane gave him a sympathetic smile and rested her hand over his.

 

“I understand about family.  We don’t get to choose them, and though they can do terrible things, we can’t help but love them anyway.  Even if we don’t want to.”

 

She paused here, her gaze drawing away for a moment.

 

“There’s more you wish to say,” Thor said, his eyes searching.

 

Jane fidgeted, withdrawing her hand again.  He watched her with a questioning gaze.

 

“No, it’s nothing.”

 

Thor took her hand back.

 

“I wish to know your thoughts on this, no matter what they are.  Please.”

 

Jane bit her lip.

 

“Oh, I don’t know that it’s really my place to say.  You’re from a different culture, different _planet_.  It’s not for me to judge how you do things.”

 

“I will not be upset by anything you say,” he assured her.  “Believe me, the other warriors of Earth have already said much worse.”

 

Jane exhaled, flicking a glance over at Darcy; she seemed quite absorbed in her work.

 

“Okay,” she said finally.  “It’s just that, this whole fight between you and Loki seems very… _personal_.”

 

Thor looked puzzled.

 

“Yes.  He is my brother.  He believes he’s been slighted and he speaks his hurt in violence and destruction.”

 

“Against _you_.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Not against your father, your parents.”

 

Thor furrowed his brow.

 

“I do not understand.”

 

Jane racked her brain, trying to think of a delicate way to put all of this.

 

“Why did he come after you – _only_ you – or more specifically, the things you care about?”

 

“He was trying to hurt me.”

 

“Yes, and he did, didn’t he?”

 

She regretted the words almost the moment they left her lips, Thor’s face falling, and he withdrew his hand again.

 

“Yes,” he said quietly.  “And it has always been that way between us; we know how to truly hurt one another if we wish to.  Though, I now believe it more deliberate on his side.”

 

Jane ducked her head to look at his face.  Despite her instincts warning her against it, she lifted a hand to his cheek.  His eyes came up, shining with unshed tears.

 

“It upsets you, that he would do that to you.”

 

She didn’t like doing this to him, but she needed to get to the heart of the matter, and make him see it too.

 

Thor closed his eyes for a moment.

 

“More than I wish to say,” he murmured.

 

Jane’s heart ached, regardless of her discomfort with where this was going.  Perhaps her past affection for him was clouding her judgement, but she didn’t care about that now.  Thor needed her help.

 

He seemed to compose himself somewhat, leaning back from her touch and wiping a hand over his eyes.

 

“This is foolish; I shouldn’t let it affect me so.”

 

Jane touched his arm.

 

“Of course you should.  You love him.”

 

Thor’s gaze was steady.

 

“Loki is my brother – he has always had my love.”

 

Jane pressed her lips together and then took a breath.

 

“That’s not what I meant though,” she said slowly.  “You love him more than that.  More than… just family.”

 

She watched his brow furrow, though no realisation yet passed over his features.  She wondered if she would have to spell it out explicitly.

 

“He loves you the same,” she continued.  “You don’t recruit an army, open an Einstein-Rosen bridge to another galaxy, and invade a planet just because you’re mad at you’re brother.  You do those things when your heart is broken.  When you think you’ve lost the person most important to you in the whole world – whole _universe_.”

 

Thor’s expression was hesitant.

 

“Loki does not think of me that way.”

 

Darcy’s snort came from across the room before Jane could even respond.

 

“Yeah, pretty sure he does,” she called.

 

“Darcy, will you _stop_ eavesdropping?” Jane scolded.

 

Thor turned toward Darcy.

 

“No, I would like to know what she means,” Thor interjected.  “What do you know of Loki?”

 

Darcy swung her legs on the lab stool, her work seemingly forgotten.

 

“I know what I saw on the video footage.  All the public TV stuff and pretty much all of SHIELD’s as well.  And man, does that guy have a major hard-on for you.”

 

Jane put a hand to her forehead and then stood up, seeing Thor’s puzzled expression.

 

“I do not understand,” Thor said.

 

“Neither do I,” Darcy remarked, shrugging.  “Even if he is only your step-brother, it’s still _creepy_.”

 

Jane took Thor by the arm and directed him toward the door.

 

“We should talk outside,” she stated.

 

Thor looked like he wanted to question Darcy further, but relented, allowing Jane to lead him out the door and onto the lab grounds.  She was unsurprised when he quizzed her the moment they were out of earshot of anyone else.

 

“What did Darcy mean?  I did not quite understand her words.  I am not familiar with a… ‘hard-on’.”

 

Jane shut off the voices in her head that informed her Thor was probably _very_ familiar with hard-ons.

 

So much for delicate.

 

She sat down on a nearby bench, giving him an uneasy smile.

 

“It’s a crude term we use on Earth.  It’s used when a man finds another person attractive.  It’s… _descriptive_.”

 

Thor flushed suddenly, clearing his throat, and his gaze drew down away from Jane.

 

“Ah.  I see.  We have similar words and phrases on Asgard.  Though such bawdiness is not usually heard from a woman.”

 

Jane gave a wry smile, raising her eyebrows.

 

“Well, that’s Darcy.  Like you said before, she speaks plainly.”

 

Thor joined her on the bench.

 

“And she believes my brother feels this desire for me?” he asked, slightly abashed.

 

“I don’t think she meant _only_ the physical side.  Just that he’s so fixated on you.”  She paused.  “And I think she’s right.”

 

“You believe Loki loves me – as the All-father loves my mother?  That is the affection he holds for me?”

 

Jane watched him, trying to gauge his reaction.  He seemed surprised, rather than disgusted.  It was partial confirmation of her suspicions, but she needed to be sure.

 

“If he did, how does that make you feel?” she asked carefully.

 

Thor leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, his red cloak fluttering behind him in the breeze.  His expression was one of deep thought.

 

“I know in our society today this sort of thing isn’t accepted,” she continued.  “But it hasn’t always been that way.  We’ve had plenty in history who’ve married family members.  And they usually _have_ been kings and queens.”

 

Thor let out a sigh.

 

“It is true, on Asgard we have also had brothers and sisters marry, make families together.  But that is in our distant past, like yours.  And I do not recall many instances of brother and brother together.  It’s not how it should be.”

 

Jane watched the conflict play out on his face; the admission of such fierce love for his brother warred with his sense of duty and propriety.

 

She put a hand on his back.

 

“Maybe not.  But it would explain Loki’s anger toward you.  Especially if he thinks you feel the same way about him.”

 

Thor was silent for some time.  Eventually he sighed again and laced his fingers together.

 

“I fear you are right, Jane Foster.  Loki sees me deny my feelings, even to myself, and wishes to punish me for it.  And he has been successful so far.”  Thor’s voice was low again, and he dropped his head into his hands.  “I had not known the extent of my affections for him.  Or rather, I did not _want_ to know.  Back on Asgard, I had thought it only the fire of youth…”

 

He trailed off, and Jane gave him a quizzical look.

 

“What was?”

 

Thor lifted his head again, but glanced at her for only a moment.

 

“I have never spoken of this to anyone.  I ask you to do the same.”

 

Jane nodded.

 

“Okay.”

 

“When Loki and I were younger we would share a bed.  Though, it was not for sleeping, if you understand me,” he said uncertainly.  “I am not sure how you phrase this on Earth.”

 

Jane ignored the discomfort in her belly and nodded.

 

“I know what you mean.  It’s okay.”

 

He continued.

 

“Though we knew others would not approve, we thought little of it at the time.  I shared a bed with many a maiden also, of which Loki had no objection, nor I to any interest in his.  It seemed a trifle; another whim with my brother.”  He took a breath.  “In saying that, it went on for many a year.”

 

He looked over, and Jane could tell he was trying to judge her reaction.  She gave him a small smile.  Apparently satisfied, he went on.

 

“I do not remember how it began, nor did it seem to matter to me then; it was a natural development that neither of us questioned.  But over time, it changed.  So slowly that I did not notice, not at first.”

 

Thor looked away again, seemingly lost in memory.  His brow furrowed.

 

“I was headstrong in my youth – I did not see many things that were plain around me.  What the fire between Loki and I had turned into was one of them.  There was a day, that it came to me.”

 

He flicked another glance at her.

 

“I should not speak bawdy details to a lady as yourself.”

 

Jane waved a dismissive hand.

 

“We’re not worried about formality much here, not like you are on Asgard.  Believe me when I say I’m sure I’ve seen and heard much worse before.”

 

“I should still like to be courteous.”

 

“It’s fine Thor, really.  Use as much or as little detail as you feel is necessary.”

 

Thor laced his fingers.

 

“Alright.  I will say we were sharing a bed again one morning.  How it began that day is not important.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Most occasions we would – ”  He flicked a glance at her.  “It is enough to say we were seated, facing each other, embracing, and that it was not our usual arrangement.”

 

Thor’s expression was distant and tinged with longing.

 

He composed himself.

 

“I remember thinking it felt different.  I had not experienced emotions like that when I’d had him before – at least, not that had been as clear to me as they were that day.  I remember Loki’s eyes, his expression, being so lovely, so striking.  Before I knew what I was saying, I had told him so.  I said he was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen, and that I longed for him to be mine.”

 

Thor swallowed, shaking his head.

 

“I know not why I said it.  It was foolish.”

 

“Because you meant it,” Jane replied.  “There’s nothing foolish about that.”

 

“I shall never forget the look on his face when I spoke those words.  He glowed, like the bright morning sun, in a way I’d never seen my brother do before.  His smile was truly wonderful – not maddened as it is now – it was soft, delighted.  I was confused when he laughed, but then he said, _I have always been yours, brother_.”

 

By this stage, Jane was awash with strange emotions.  It did seem wrong that brothers should think of each other this way, _be_ with each other this way, but their love seemed so profound that she couldn’t help but be a little dazzled by it.

 

When she saw the nervous look on Thor’s face, she realised she hadn’t said anything.

 

“You think us of ill mind,” he said.

 

“No.  I think… I think sometimes you can’t help who you love.”

 

Thor looked down.

 

“In that moment, I did not care that it was wrong.  I would have declared to all that would listen that Loki was mine, and I his.  I didn’t have the words to express it to him, though I believe he knew this.  I kissed him, and he just smiled.  I will not burden you with the details of what happened after that.  I will say only that it was a long morning.”

 

Thor’s cheeks flushed.  Jane fought the urge to wrinkle her nose, though he must have seen the slightly stunned expression on her face because he ducked his head.

 

“I am sorry, I have said too much.  I will impose these memories on you no longer.”

 

“No, no, it’s okay.  There was more you wanted to say, I know.  Tell me.  I won’t judge you, I promise.”

 

Thor watched her warily for a few moments, but then sighed and gave a nod.

 

“After we were done, Loki stayed in my bed.  He did not leave, as was usual.”  He met Jane’s eyes.  “That is not to say he was normally callous; in the past _neither_ of us had felt the need to remain in one another’s company once it was over.  But this time he did, and I found I was glad of it.”

 

He departed a little now, lost again in some recollection.

 

“As children, I would say we were as any brothers are; we would talk, play, fight, laugh, embrace, and all of it without a second thought.  But as we became older, we grew out of many of these things, and it had been many a long year since I had held my brother – _truly_ held him in a way that spoke of affection.  That is perhaps why I was so heartened he stayed in my bed.  I found him in my arms through no will of my own, though it seemed he belonged there; such was the shape of his body against mine.”

 

Jane felt her chest warm – she knew that feeling.  She had started to experience it with Robert, the SHIELD physicist.  It was the level of intimacy where everything started to feel right.  It was like coming home.

 

She smiled at Thor, who wore a sheepish expression.

 

“I do not know how long we stayed that way.  We spoke little, only gazing at one another and exchanging kisses.  He…”

 

Thor stopped again, shaking his head.

 

“What?  What is it?” Jane asked.

 

“You have said little, and I say too much.  You do not wish to hear of sentiment between my brother and I.”

 

Jane furrowed her brow and took his hand.

 

“But is it important that you tell me?  Does it shape your relationship, how you feel about him?”

 

Thor looked up at her.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then tell me.”

 

He went on.

 

“Loki was never much one for sentiment, but that day he looked at me and held me in a way I had never known him capable.  For once I could see honesty in his gaze, a _complete_ truth, and his fingers searched the shape of my face as though he were afraid he would forget it.”

 

Thor swallowed thickly, and Jane could tell he was fighting back emotion.  She squeezed his hand and he flashed her a small smile.

 

“And it was there that it all began.  There was where I first failed my brother.”

 

Jane frowned.

 

“Why?  What happened?”

 

Thor’s face fell.

 

“It is a rare for me, Thor, son of Odin, to ever be called a coward.  There is little in Asgard or any realm I have visited that I fear.”  He paused.  “But that day in my chambers, with Loki in my arms, I confess I was afraid.  I was afraid of the force of love I saw in my brother’s eyes; such tenderness I had not known in him before.  And that same love I felt in my own heart – it swelled up like a fire, but was heavy as Mjolnir in my chest.”

 

Jane smiled at his confession.  His open nature, even in regards to his most personal thoughts and feelings, was something she admired about him.

 

“I was young and reckless then,” he went on.  “And did not know what to do when faced with such fierce affection.  I didn’t flee at that moment, but was frightened enough to keep my distance from Loki from that day onwards.  We did not lie together again after that.”

 

Regret shone in Thor’s eyes, and Jane clasped his hand in both of hers now.

 

“Did Loki say anything?” Jane asked.  “After that day, I mean?  Did he question you about why didn’t want to sleep with him anymore?”

 

“Once, though it was veiled in a query that appeared innocent to others’ ears.  He simply asked me if he had done something to upset me.  I admit I’m sometimes not as bright others, and certainly was not then, but from the look in his eyes I knew what he was referring to.”  A pained expression crossed Thor’s face.  “And I’m ashamed to say I did nothing to allay his worries.  I acted as if I did not know what he meant, and gave him no explanation for my behaviour.  If his resentment of me before had been from some imagined slight, then I gave him a true reason for wrath that day.”

 

“You’re too hard on yourself.  You can’t have known he would react so badly.”

 

“But that is what I mean to say, Jane – I _did_ know.  I knew that denying my feelings to him would hurt him in a way that I couldn’t undo.  And yet I did it anyway.  I pretended all that we had done and felt together meant nothing, and that I had no thought for his feelings at all.  I treated him like he was of no more importance than the rest of my family, when nothing was further from the truth.”

 

Thor took a breath, rubbing a hand over his face.

 

“Loki had become everything to me, and I was so frightened by it that all I could do was reject him.  What sort of person does that make me?”

 

“That doesn’t excuse him from slaughtering hundreds of innocent people,” Jane pointed out.  “He made that decision all on his own.”

 

“I do not mean to argue that Loki is innocent in this; far from it.  But I must take responsibility for the hurt inside him that is the source of all his rage.  And admit that I could have stemmed that fury, and his actions, at any time, had I been brave enough to love him as he deserved.”

 

Jane shook her head.

 

“I think you take _too much_ responsibility.  It’s not up to you to make sure Loki behaves, even if you _did_ hurt him.  If everyone on Asgard, Earth, _wherever_ , declared war every time they got hurt, there would be no universe left at all.  You said you know he’s not innocent, but you need to stop making excuses for him.”

 

Thor looked down at their hands, sighing.

 

“I fear I cannot.  I…”

 

“You still love him,” Jane offered.  “Like you did then.”

 

Thor looked up at her, his gaze bright.

 

“Hopelessly,” he admitted.

 

Jane’s expression softened and she lifted her hand to his cheek.

 

“I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t be so harsh.  I can’t say that I have any idea what it’s like to go through what you have.  Okay, I’ve made bad boyfriend choices before, but nothing like that, and not with anyone I’ve spent my whole life with.  I said I wasn’t going to judge you, and I did.  So much for my promises.”

 

Thor’s smile was soft.

 

“It is alright, Jane, you are only expressing your thoughts.  It’s what I asked of you, and why I came to you to begin with.  I wished for an honest opinion, from someone who was not personally involved.”

 

“Oh, I think I was personally involved,” Jane murmured.

 

Thor furrowed his brow and Jane gave a wry grin.

 

“Well, I _was_ in love with you,” she clarified.  “I don’t think you can exactly call my opinion unbiased.”

 

His eyebrows arched.

 

“You had affections for me?” he asked.

 

She chuckled.

 

“Of course I did, couldn’t you tell?  I did kiss you pretty hard when you left for Asgard.”

 

Thor smiled, seemingly bashful.

 

“It was quite a kiss; that is true.  But passion can be fleeting, and I did not get the chance to discover your true feelings.”

 

“Well, believe me, they were strong,” she sighed.  “Took me a long time to get over.”

 

Thor’s eyes were filled with regret, and he held her hand with both of his now.  He brought it up to his lips and kissed the back of it, drawing it back only a little when he was done.  It was still close enough that she could feel his warm breath on her skin when he spoke.

 

“I am sorry, Jane,” he murmured, his gaze fixed on hers.  “There are many things I wish I had the power to change, and hurting you is not the least of them.  If it had been different, I like to think you would have been my queen on Asgard.”

 

Jane flushed; she felt all those old feelings of desire and fascination creeping into her heart again.  She remembered now why she had fallen head over heels for him in only a few days.

 

Against her better judgement, Jane pressed their hands down out of the way, so there was nothing between their faces.  She cradled his head and pulled him closer.  Without another hesitation she pressed a kiss upon his lips, her mouth hungry for him in a way she thought she had long since banished.

 

Thor did not push her away as she expected.  Instead she felt his grip tighten on her hands for a moment, before his fingers slid into her hair and he was kissing her back.

 

They parted a moment later and Jane put a hand over her mouth.  Thor’s eyes, blue and hypnotic, burned with unmasked want, and she had to steady herself before speaking again.

 

“I shouldn’t have done that,” she confessed.

 

She wasn’t entirely sure why she had.  It was true that she still had the spark of feelings for Thor, but her love belonged to Robert now and she had no intention of betraying him.  Jane suspected it was largely a physical desire she felt for Thor, though she wasn’t exactly surprised.  He was, after all, a strong and handsome guy – god or not.

 

“I am not unhappy that you did,” he replied.

 

“Neither am I, but I still shouldn’t have.  I have a boyfriend.”

 

Thor’s smile was knowing.

 

“And if you did not, I would take you back to Asgard with me right this moment and have you in my chambers.”

 

Jane couldn’t help but laugh, both in surprise and amusement, and Thor let out a hearty chuckle as she did so.  His expression turned gentle now, the lust dissipating from his eyes, and he slipped his fingers from her hair.  Jane dropped her hand and sat back, her smile sheepish.

 

“And I’d let you,” she admitted.  “I might not be in love with you anymore but that doesn’t make you any less attractive.”  She bit her lip and Thor chuckled again.  “But I have Robert, and you have Loki.”

 

Thor’s expression became serious at the mention of his brother.

 

“I do not _have_ my brother in any way, except for the fact that he is locked in the palace prison.  Certainly not in the way you have your companion, Robert.”

 

“Maybe not physically.  But like I was saying, and even Darcy was saying before, it seems clear that you have his heart.  That’s something, at least.”

 

“Even if I do – which I contend is no longer the case – it is of little use when Loki hides his true feelings under endless layers.  He would no more admit love for me than he would repent for his evil deeds.  It is futile.”

 

“Have you tried?  Before today, you hadn’t even admitted to yourself how you felt about him.  How do you know how he’ll react if you don’t even try?”

 

Thor appeared bothered by her question.

 

“I have known Loki many years, and he’s always been a master of deception.  Even with honesty, I will get nothing out of him.”

 

“So, because he’s stubborn, you’re just going to give up?”

 

Jane was arguing with him now, and was slowly becoming aware how frustrating Thor could be to reason with sometimes.  She could understand how Loki could grow so exasperated with him.

 

“You speak as though I have no desire to do this – that I do not wish to know him as I once did.”

 

“That’s not what I meant; I’m sure you do.  But there’s more to connecting with someone than getting them to confess all _their_ secrets.  It works both ways.  And in Loki’s case, because he’s learnt to guard himself so well, it will probably be up to you to put in the effort.”

 

Thor was also apparently growing frustrated with this conversation, standing abruptly and starting to pace.

 

“Why should I?” he said petulantly.  “I have wronged him, it is true, but it should not be solely up to me to mend our relationship.  We are not children anymore, and I refuse to work for this when Loki is just either too lazy or too stubborn to do so.”

 

Jane folded her arms, giving him a long stare.

 

“And there’s the problem.  You see Loki as having the same choices, the same opportunities as you, and simply not making the most of it.  But that’s not how it is.”

 

“Whose side are you on?  You believe Loki’s idea that simply by living my life I somehow ruined his?”

 

“No.  Loki’s conclusions, his reactions to the situation, are misguided.  But his basic logic isn’t.  He _has_ lived a different life than you, _because_ of you, and it’s meant that it’s been harder for him.  There is a balance of power tipped in your direction, away from him, that has been hanging over him his whole life.”

 

“That is no fault of mine – I did not do it to him, and did not ask for it.”

 

“No, you didn’t, and no-one says that you did.  But just being _aware_ of the advantage you have can help both of you.”

 

Thor’s brow furrowed in thought.

 

“How?  Loki will not listen if I simply tell him I understand how hard he has had it.”

 

Jane shook her head.

 

“No, I think you’re right.  You’ll probably have to be a little more… subtle.”

 

Thor threw her a disbelieving look.  She continued.

 

“Loki has always felt that you’ve had the upper hand – if you acknowledge the power you have, you may be able to identify when it comes into play between the two of you.  And then you could try to shift it so it doesn’t feel that way to him anymore.”

 

“That sounds far too complicated.  Loki is no fool – he will see through any plan I devise.”

 

“Then don’t make it a plan; make it a change in yourself.  Be aware how you are around him.  Pay attention to how he behaves.  Learn what he means when he speaks, and when he doesn’t.  Most of all, _listen_.”

 

Thor frowned.

 

“I am a good listener.  I do not disregard his words on a whim.”

 

“I’m sure you don’t.  But Loki has lived a life where it felt like it was only _your_ words that were important.  It was always _you_ that was listened to, and he was only asked as an afterthought; as a confirmation of something you’d already said.  If you now make it about _him_ – what he has to say, what he thinks, and feels – it might get you somewhere.”

 

Thor was silent for a few moments, and he stilled his pacing.

 

“But how do I even begin?  I try to visit him in his prison chambers back on Asgard, but he refuses to speak to me, except to tell me to get out.”

 

Jane thought for a few moments.

 

“Let him dictate the terms.  He probably sees your visits as you trying to push conversation, trying to force a friendship back on him.”

 

“But I am not,” Thor objected.

 

“That’s not the point, though – it’s about how Loki perceives you.  You need to change that perception he has, and the only way you’re going to do that is by trying to do everything his way.”

 

“It hardly seems fair.”

 

“I didn’t say it was fair.  But it might be the only way you can get through to Loki again.  And if you want him to know how you really feel.”

 

Thor exhaled a sigh and took a seat back down next to Jane.

 

“Jane Foster, you are stern and stubborn,” he said.  “But you tell me hard truths, and for that I am grateful.  It’s why I came to you for advice on Loki.  Thank you.”

 

Jane smiled, placing her hand on his arm.

 

“You’re welcome,” she replied.  “I don’t think I’m that knowledgeable on relationships; I just have my personal opinion.  But if it helps, then that’s good.”

 

She looked at her watch.

 

“I should really be getting back to work.  Maybe come by later tonight for a drink or dinner?  I’ll give you my address, and then you can meet Robert as well.”

 

“I should like that very much,” Thor replied, flashing her his broad smile.

 

Jane grinned.

 

* * *


End file.
